Stripper 101

Source: None via Monica on Pinterest

11am: the room is still spinning, the TV is on with the volume blasting, all the lights are on, everyone else is  sound asleep.  I look down and am holding a mini water bottle with alka seltzer (apparently, the one smart thing I did before passing out).  I slowly go through a mental checklist: I am in the Mirage Hotel, it is Sunday May 8th,  don't forget to call Mom and wish her "Happy Mother's Day", today we are going to Stripper 101.

Eventually, I heave my body upright and am reminded how swollen my feet are from dancing the night away 'til dawn two nights in a row.  The rest of the sleeping beauties begin to wake and we range from moderately to extremely hungover.  Grunts and moans are used to say "good morning" to each other.  We try to muster up the energy to fit the bill for the scheduled activity. Today's attire: sexy clothes and stripper heels! I rummage my suitcase to find booty shorts, a lacey bra and nude tank then slide a loose romper over the minimalistic outfit to walk the strip.   I throw heels into my purse and opt for much more sensible shoes, Rainbows. 

I lead the pack of 7 sunglass-clad zombie-like ladies down to the Miracle Mile where we find the V Theater.  With tickets in hand, we walk into the Stripper Bar (Giant Stripper on a pole out front and all) and collect on our free drink to ease our hangovers and re-energize ourselves! The mood becomes a little lighter as we watch class participants take their souvenir photo on the stripper pole and we get in for a group shot of the entire bachelorette party....it's a keeper!

Time for class! We walk down the dark hallway of the theater and into a backroom where a very tall, muscular, lean red-head greets us....she's our instructor!  Nervous whispers and laughter echo through the tile floored room.  Everyone instantly becomes a wallflower and grabs a chair lined up on the outside of the room.  We learn the basics of a lap dance....basically move your hips and pretend to put lotion all over your body then windmill your arm around and smack your booty in between teasing your lap-dancee with your "soft parts".... and as ladies, we know what those are!  The class progresses and we spin on the pole then watch in awe as the instructor inverts herself and does crunches on the pole while hanging from her ankles! Sparkle, Diamonds, Scarlet, Boobylicious, Bubbles, Gigi and Sugar all graduated and still have the bruises to prove it!  What a fun experience! Who knew we'd have so many shining stars in our group!